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When she hugged, she hugged intensely, her whole sweet body pressing into a person. She always gave herself, she never held back, not when she laughed and not when she made love — she was always totally there. Gina fell in love with her because of that.So Alicia's distance, even if it wasn't more than an occasional hesitation, struck a nerve with Gina. A microscopic seed of doubt nestled itself in a dark niche of her soul, irritating her like a grain of sand in the corner of an eye.Gina should have talked to Alicia. But as so often, while the poison of jealousy seeped in, pride built a wall against its very cure. It might be true that Alicia felt sorry for Sarah Lust and she might also feel upset with the way Gina had bullied the woman. But that was by far not the biggest of the many doubts and demons that lighted and landed like a flock of crows on the girl's mind. Gina didn't understand what went on inside Alicia — what the girl truly needed. She could hardly be blamed for that, as. We’re proud of her, just like we were proud of her father.”Carla listened and took a bite of her sandwich, but I could tell she was uncomfortable by the conversation, especially after what had been unleashed in the hayloft.“We still have to get the hay in,” she said, “It was raining too hard before.”“Too bad my son can’t take over the ranch,” he continued as if she hadn’t said anything. “Don’t know what I’m going to do with this place when I can’t keep it up. That is, if I don’t lose it to the bank like some of the others have around here.”Carla’s grandmother took a deep breath and reached for his empty plate, then picked up her plate with the crumbs and pieces of crust. “Everything will be alright, George. You have to have faith. That’s what it takes… faith.”“I know you’re right, but it ain’t easy working all these years and ending up with nothing. Faith don’t pay the damn bills.”I finished my sandwich and glanced over at Carla. She closed her eyes and looked away. I felt her.
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